Not Satire: When "Star Wars Sunday" Meets "Pacific Islander Heritage Month"

Somewhere between the Jedi Council and the United Church of Christ, a black hole has opened, sucking sound doctrine into a swirling void of cosplay theology, syncretistic gobbledygook, and racialized virtue signals wrapped in rice paper.

It is here, at the unholy convergence of the upcoming “Star Wars Sunday” and Pacific Islander & Asian American Ministries Sunday, that a new kind of worship service is being proposed—not Christian, not serious, not even spiritually coherent. Just a bloated, culturally appropriated disaster held together by a glue stick, a rainbow flag, and a dusty DVD box set of The Phantom Menace.

Let’s not sugarcoat this. This isn’t worship of the God of the Scriptures—it’s fan fiction with communion wafers.

Come this Sunday, in United Church of Christ congregations across the country, people won’t be gathered to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ. They’ll be welcomed by robed ministers waving toy lightsabers and saying, “May the Fourth be with you.”