Lutheran "Pastor" Accuses Jesus of Misogyny and Says He Needed to be "Put in His Place"
Fake “Pastor” Nick Utphall of Advent Lutheran Church in Madison, Wisconsin isn’t a pastor. He’s a theological pyromaniac in a rainbow-colored stole, torch in one hand, microphone in the other, humming hymns to his own enlightenment while gleefully immolating the very Scriptures he is reading from. It’s progressive fanfiction dressed up in church clothes, with a smug little bow of self-congratulation tied right on top.
In a sermon clip now immortalized in heresy highlight reels, Utphall barrels straight past doctrinal error into full-blown blasphemy. He doesn’t just reinterpret Scripture—he corrects it. “Jesus needed to learn his lesson,” he announces with the same tone one might use to scold a child for spilling milk.
Yes, according to Upthall, the Alpha and the Omega, the eternal Logos through whom all things were made, just needed a little tutelage from a desperate woman begging for crumbs. You’d think God incarnate might have known what He was doing. But no, according to Utphall, He needed a crash course in intersectional feminism.
And who brings us this divine enlightenment? A man so thoroughly marinated in progressive delusion that he thinks Mary, sister of Martha, is a brainwashed victim of patriarchal conditioning. This isn’t even eisegesis anymore. It’s a woke fairy tale served with a side of condescension, and Utphall ladles it on like it’s gourmet theology.
Of course, he isn’t actually reading the Bible, he’s auditioning it. And if it doesn’t pass the vibe check of contemporary woke sensibilities, it gets rewritten, revised, or ridiculed. He scoffs, “no woman is referred to as Deacon” in Acts like he’s uncovered a Dan Brown-style cover-up instead of... well, reading the actual text. There’s no reverence here—just the theological equivalent of a toddler throwing Cheerios because he didn’t get his way.
And then, the sermon’s climax—“If it was really Jesus telling Martha not to serve… Jesus needed to stand corrected.” That line alone should have been enough to get the microphone cut, the lights turned off, and the building fumigated. But instead, Utphall keeps going, high on his own heresy, carving doctrinal graffiti into the walls of God’s house while congratulating himself for being so brave, so enlightened, so radically inclusive.
He wraps things up with a doctrinal face-plant so stunning you almost admire the commitment:
“Take that, Luke or Jesus or whoever. Or whoever.”
Well, that’s a full-scale confessional collapse. But that’s what happens when you treat the Word of God like a rough draft you’re entitled to edit. That’s not Christianity. That’s performance art for apostates.
Nick Utphall doesn’t serve Christ. He serves himself, his ideology, and—let’s not equivocate—his father, the devil. He isn’t some imprudent brother who stumbled into confusion. He’s a polished mouthpiece for spiritual poison, a walking contradiction in a stole, peddling heresy with all the confidence of a snake in a suit.
He is the ecclesiastical equivalent of a phishing scam—slick, confident, and spiritually bankrupt. And the only appropriate biblical response is to mark him, avoid him, and warn everyone you know.
And if you ever find yourself within shouting distance of Advent Lutheran Church, turn around. Keep driving. Don’t even slow down to check the gas. The road to hell is paved with sermons like his.
Watch the clip: