Francis Chan Says He Could Draw a Bigger Crowd, and His Church Would Be Bigger Than Jesus's

In a recent conversation with Lecrae, Francis Chan reached deep into the recesses of his self-awareness and pulled out something so bizarre, so stupefying, that even seasoned watchers of his descent into doctrinal oblivion had to pause and rewind.

With a wistful, almost bashful tone, Chan recalled a moment from his days at Cornerstone Church in Simi Valley, California, when he turned to his wife and said:

"Honey, I feel like if the apostle Paul or Jesus had a church in Simi Valley, mine would be bigger… and that is bothering me. I would have a bigger church than Jesus because I know how to keep a crowd."

Take a moment. Let that simmer. The man who once claimed to be fleeing the trappings of megachurch celebrity now fancies himself more effective at gathering sheep than the Great Shepherd Himself. This isn’t just your run-of-the-mill “humblebrag,” you know, when you brag about yourself while cloaking it in a veneer of faux humility. No, this is a full-blown theological stroke.

A man confessing pride while boasting of his supremacy over the Lord of glory? That’s like a mosquito apologizing for the itch while claiming it’s better at drawing blood than a surgeon.