David Platt Tells Bizarre, Demonstrably False Story About Visions of Jesus in Armor Protecting Him from Physical Assault

At The Gospel Coalition’s recent conference—an event already bursting with enough theological cotton candy to induce a diabetic coma—David Platt took the stage and, with trembling sincerity, unleashed a tale so drenched in mystical melodrama it could have been ghostwritten by Kat Kerr herself after the pink hair dye fried her brain and a sword-fight with a demon in heaven’s food court.

“I want to tell you a quick story that I’m hesitant to share,” Platt began. A red flag if there ever was one. Nothing good in evangelicalism has ever followed the phrase “I’m hesitant to share this…” That’s usually code for “Brace yourselves, I’m about to traffic in unverifiable emotionalism.”

Without offering details (because, naturally, vagueness is next to godliness in their world), Platt described a “traumatizing” incident in his church a few years ago, allegedly involving someone coming at him physically, the police being called, and—of course—a divine escape hatch heroically used just in time.

The next morning, a woman he didn’t know and who “had no context” received a “picture” of Jesus—fully armored—standing between him and the threat. That vision, Platt insisted, was a supernatural confirmation of Isaiah 59, where God dons righteousness as armor. If that wasn’t wild enough, a few weeks later another woman—also with “no knowledge of the event”—confirmed the entire ordeal with yet another message from God.

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