Church of England is Coming Clean, Dropping "Church" From the Names of its Congregations

The Church of England—once a pillar of Christian orthodoxy—has become a parody of its former self, bending over backward to appease a world that couldn’t care less. Established by Henry VIII’s ego-driven break from Rome, this institution has now traded the gospel for the latest social fads, like an aging actor desperately chasing after the next big role, oblivious to how ridiculous they’ve become.

They’ve dropped the word “church” from their new congregations because apparently, even acknowledging their identity is too much of a burden. It’s like a chef refusing to call their restaurant a restaurant in hopes that people will finally appreciate their microwaved meals. The Church, in its pursuit of relevance, has become irrelevant—choosing the wide road of cultural conformity over the narrow path of truth.

In their frantic scramble to be “modern,” they’ve managed to lose everything that once gave them purpose. Now, they’re just another hollow institution, echoing the world’s empty slogans while pretending they’re still a beacon of light. But really, they’re just a flickering bulb in the back of a forgotten warehouse, too dim to illuminate anything at all. The Church of England isn’t evolving—it’s dissolving.

Thankfully, though, the Church of England has finally come to its senses and decided to stop using the word "church" in the names of its new congregations. This “venerable institution” is now doing away with the very term that used to define its existence.

Apparently, even the word "church" is too burdensome for an organization that has eagerly embraced every passing cultural fad like a chameleon changing colors to blend in with its surroundings.